Sunday, July 28, 2013

Fighting the inevitable

I was living out my dreams, it got better each day
My independent spirit forced fears and doubts away
It was so much better than I imagined it could be
The world was in my palm; mine to experience and see

Then the dark clouds came and covered up my sun
They opened and they poured, destroying everything I'd done
I sought shelter from the storm, knowing it would pass
Inside looking out, raindrops sliding down the glass

As suddenly as it started, the rain simply stopped
I skipped back outside, this time ignoring the raindrops
The sun, still clouded over, couldn't shine through the rain's tears
I didn't run inside; I faced these soggy frontiers

I played in the rain much like a young child
In those moments, I felt the freedom of youth gone wild
There were no repercussions, nothing of consequence
Until the pools of water formed, flooding my protection fence

I wasn't safe anymore, playing in the rain
I floated away, no life jacket, drowning in the pain
Freedom and happiness drifted off into the distance
I watched it fall victim to the path of least resistance

Still, I wouldn't give up; I'd hope for the sun
I hoped and hoped and wouldn't stop until this course had run
When that day came, I didn't accept its end
I didn't care, just pushed and pushed, even though it was pretend

I smiled and I smiled, still swimming upstream
Refusing to let go of living out my dream
I kept my head up, watching for the sun to peek through the clouds
I felt somehow protected, wrapped up in the shrouds

Of memories and good times passed and the warmth that they brought
The warmth morphed into heat and then to unbearably hot
I know now that it is time to stop living in the past
Trying to let go right now seems far too vast

I want to be back there; carefree, in the sunshine
Refusing to accept that all of that was never mine
They say let go and if it comes back then it was meant to be
I'm trying to let go of it, and with it, my identity